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Jennifer Grassman

Recording Artist + Author + Mommy

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Movies

War Room Movie Review: A Closer Look At Prayer, Sin, & Satan

I liked War Room a lot. The characters were engaging, the emotion was moving, and the story of redemption was beautiful. However, I had three main issues with the theology (or theology that could have been implied or misconstrued):  Continue reading “War Room Movie Review: A Closer Look At Prayer, Sin, & Satan”

Rest in Peace Sir Christopher Lee: Actor & Symphonic Metal Artist

Actor, singer, and symphonic metal artist, Sir Christopher Lee, has passed away. He was 93 years old, but remained active in his art – his acting and his singing – to the end.

Many know Christopher Lee for his unparalleled theatrical performances and voice acting skills. Jason and I, however, also know him as an incredible operatic vocalist, both narrating story lines and singing epic melodies.

His award winning concept album, which released in 2010, is titled, Charlemagne: By the Sword and the Cross, and tells the story of the First Holy Roman Emperor, King Charlemagne. A heavy metal follow-up album, titled Charlemagne: The Omens of Death, was released in 2013. Lyrically and musically, Lee’s music is very dramatic, and his deep rich voice provides an impressively theatrical power. Continue reading “Rest in Peace Sir Christopher Lee: Actor & Symphonic Metal Artist”

50 Shades Of Grey, The Sequel

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The book already has two sequels; 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed. But as a writer, I feel a compulsive need to offer some creative suggestions for the second film should they decide to stray from the book plot. Or heck, maybe E. L. James will write a fourth book, and she can incorporate some of my ideas in that!

50 Shades of Gay
After seeing a therapist to confront his abusive nature, Christian Grey realizes that the reason he enjoys roughing up women is because he actually doesn’t like women … at all …

60 Shades of Grey
Now in their 60’s, Ana and Christian are senior citizens. They decide to start a new business venture in hair products, and launch a trendy line of dyes ranging in hue from Barely Grey to Not Quite Black.

50 Shades of White … & Wong
After Christian Grey tragically dies whilst choking on a feather boa, Ana finds herself alone and vulnerable. By the second chapter, she’s trapped in a love triangle with business executives and jettsetters, Mr. White and Mr. Wong. It’s a classic tale of the battle between good and evil, light and darkness, White and Wong. Who will she choose? … or will she?

50 Shades of Grey Matter
Ana gets tired of putting up with Christian’s abuse, and brains him with a marble paperweight that looks a lot like James Earl Jones’ head. Stumped as to what to do with the body, Ana roasts Christian’s remains and eats him alongside some fava beans and a nice Chianti. She then uses his bones to construct a unique DIY coffee table and posts photos on Pinterest.

50 Shades of Green
Christian is befuddled as to why Ana continues to take his abuse, until he wakes up from a drug induced coma in an alien spaceship surrounded by small green men in white lab coats. One of the aliens, a research scientist named Paco, reveals that he played the part of Ana in Christian’s unconscious delusion of having a life. After abducting Christian, Paco and his team were conducting research, hoping to discover the extent of mankind’s capacity for narcissism. They found it to be … unfathomable.

Cat in Glasses 500

50 Shades of Morally Non Grey Area

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! 50 Shades of Grey is out!!!

(That was said with seething sarcasm.)

Many people have been very vocal about the morality of a movie that glorifies an abusive relationship, so I’m not even going to bother rehashing that. Instead, I’m going to address the typical response to dissenters:

“IT’S OK. THEY’RE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS.”

Seriously? Since when did consent make everything OK? If someone told you it’s OK to run them over with a car, would you do it? No. Because that would be bad. You would be a criminal. Even if they asked you in writing.

Most abuse victims consent. Sometimes they love their abuser and are desperate to make them happy. Sometimes they’re afraid to say no. Sometimes they are so used to being abused that they think abuse is normal and they honestly don’t realize anything bad is happening to them.

The Eurythmics understood this:

“Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.”

Nevertheless, abusers are losers, whether their victims consent or not.

The other asinine argument many people like to tout is:

“YOU CAN’T KNOW IT’S BAD IF YOU’VE NEVER READ / WATCHED IT.”

Here’s a short screenplay demonstrating why this argument is logically fallacious:

Loyd: Will eating rocks make you sick?
Jane: Yes.
Loyd: Have you ever eaten rocks?
Jane: No.
Loyd: Then how do you know it will make you sick?
Jane:

Loyd is an idiot. Don’t be Loyd.

It is entirely possible to know something without personally experiencing it. For example, you know that the moon is made out of rock, even though you’ve probably never been to the moon. Just so, a person can know that 50 Shades of Grey is morally objectionable without reading or watching it. There’s really nothing morally grey about it. In fact, this issue is really pretty black and white.

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