Any time I read the Bible to the girls, I paraphrase using words they’ll understand. My 3 year old interjects her own interesting ideas, which often reveal how she as a toddler comprehends the Bible. Here’s a transcript of the adorable hilarity that went down this afternoon:

(read the original Bible text here)

My paraphrases and words are italicized.

My daughter’s interjections are emboldened.


Psalm 74:9-23

We do not see God’s signs;
there is no longer any pastor or teacher to teach us about God,
and there is none among us who knows how long.

The Bible is really long. True.

How long, O God, are our enemies to make fun of us?
Is the enemy to mock you forever?

That’s not nice.

Why do you hold back your hand, why don’t you stop them?
Take your right hand from the fold of your coat and stop them!
Yet God my King is from of old,
God will always be our King, forever, no matter what happens!

Even if there’s a big bad storm. With funder. Yes, God is in control of the thunder. He makes storms start, and he makes storms stop. He makes the boom, boom.

God will work salvation in the midst of the earth.
You divided the sea by your might; God‘s so strong he moves oceans!

The big water is scary. Yes, but God is in control, even over the sea. Remember the waves? God is stronger than the waves.

You broke the heads of the sea monsters on the waters.
God is stronger than scary monsters, stronger even than dinosaurs!

But, the dinosaurs love Jesus. Oh. Well that’s good. But the Psalmist is saying that God will protect you even from bad dinosaurs. Bad dinosaurs are bad and scary.

You crushed the heads of Leviathan; the bad dinosaur,

The bad dinosaur is BIG!

you gave him as food for the animals of the wilderness.
You split open springs and brooks;
you dried up ever-flowing streams.
God is in charge of the day, and God is in charge of the night;
you created and are in control of the heavenly lights; the sun, moon, and all the stars.

And a big purple rainbow. Yes.

You have built the whole world;
you have made summer and winter; when it’s hot outside, or cold outside, you’re in charge.

And purple rainbows. Of course.

Remember this, O Lord, how the enemy mocks,
and foolish people talk back to you.

That’s bad. They will get in bad big trouble. Very bad.

Do not deliver the soul of your dove – your little girl – to scary beasts;
do not forget my life, the life of your little child forever.
Have regard for the covenant, remember your promise to save us,
for the dark places of the land are full … of violence.

The darkness comes at night. I don’t like the dark. No, but God is in charge even in the dark. He’s always with you.

Let not the downtrodden turn back in shame;
Don’t leave us to hide in sadness and fear,
let the poor and needy praise your name. Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord!

Arise, O God! Stand up! Defend your cause; protect us!
remember how the bad people mock you all day long!

And a big purple rainbow. And pink, and lellow, and blue, and green. And all the colors! Yes. God made the rainbow to remind us that he loves us, and will forgive our sins and take care of us.

Do not forget the lies and loudness of your enemies,
the trouble and lying of those who disobey you, they mock you continually.


God is always in control. Even when bad people pretend to be in charge, God is really the one in charge.

Yes. And Jesus waked up this morning. And Jesus made fire.

Oh. Well. He did make fire. But Jesus is always awake; he always watches over you, even at night when you’re sleeping.

And Jesus makes rainbows.

Yes. Jesus makes purple rainbows.

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