Jennifer Grassman

Recording Artist + Author + Mommy


April 2013

Awkward Moments: Confessing Your Love to a Telemarketer (True Story)

Photo by Martin Lundgren
Photo by Martin Lundgren

You’ve had a long, hard day. You’re tired. When the phone rings, you don’t even bother checking the Caller ID. You answer, and to your chagrin, it’s a telemarketer. You’re not really feeling up to arguing, so as their voice drones on and on about some service or product you don’t really care about, you let your brain drift into auto-pilot.

“Hmm …” you say vaguely. “Oh really?” you ask.

Before you know it, they’re asking you how long of a contract you’d prefer, and whether your last name is preceded by “Junior,” or some other ambiguous title. You are tempted to say something eccentric, such as “Her Majesty, Queen …,” but you resist the impulse. You decline their amazing deal. You decline again. After three minutes of frivolous pandering, and a third decline, the conversation gradually wraps up.

“Alright, well thank you so much for your time,” prattles the disappointed and slightly irritated voice on the other end. “You have a great evening.”

And that’s when it happens.

In a fit of lethargic absentmindedness, you reply with your auto-farewell, usually reserved for family members and very dear friends:

“Bye! I love you!” you declare before you realize what you’re saying.

For once, the voice on the other end is silent …

Your heart does a small somersault before falling into your stomach.

“Um …” says the voice. “What did you …?”

But it’s too late. You hang up the phone.

Hopefully, they’ll never call again.


April is National Poetry Month: Think Not On The Earth Below

In honor of National Poetry Month, here’s a piece I wrote …


As the rain falls down forever,
Through the leaves that lilt and shiver,
I’m reminded of a River
Where all tears are said to flow.

From the skies that ebb to twilight,
From the clouds that blend black and light,
From the mist that hinders our sight
Tears fall down to Earth below.

Could these be the tears of angels,
Who, discarding harps and bangles
Look on pain and earthly tangles
And lament our mortal woes?

On the day your spirit left us,
Cruelly, loss of you bereft us,
Now your sad parting has cleft us;
Wells of sorrow overflow.

Crossing o’re the River Jordan
Do you hear the lute and organ
Singing, “Soul! Cast off your burden!”
As your reach the shores that glow?

Can it be that you, so young,
Now have heard the hymns as sung
Up in Heaven by angel tongue,
And no more see Earth below?

I, for one, pray that it’s so,
That in God’s presence you know
Peace, where ne’er a storm does blow;
Peace, where there’s no pain or woe.

Now, down here, the Earth grows colder;
All our mortal plans, they molder,
Dear, don’t look over your shoulder;
Look ahead to where you go.

In a land of pearl-rimmed towers,
Grace, your weary head embowers,
Peace blossoms like April flowers;
Think not on the Earth below.

Joy and peace be with you now,
And may God, His love endow,
May you reach forever, now;
Think not on the Earth below.

Think not on the Earth below.

Copyright 2013 © Jennifer Grassman

Please let me know what you think in the comments below!

Thanks & Love,


Todd Oxford (Saxophone, The Haunting) = Awesome, and My Website is Broken

Firstly, my website is down.  Apparently the domain name expired, and for some reason the host failed to notify me.  Thankfully, someone notified me almost immediately when it went down and I was able to remedy the situation.  We should be up and running again today!

Secondly, Todd Oxford is awesome.  Remember the amazing saxophone solos in The Haunting?  Well, Todd Oxford, classical saxophonist, composed and performed those.  Todd returned to the studio with us this past weekend to record solos for Jason and my progressive metal project, Orisonata!

Watch a behind-the-scenes video HERE.

Have a great day!


National Poetry Month: First Poem, My Daughter

As you may have read in previous blog entries or seen on my Facebook page, April is National Poetry Month, and I am challenging myself to write one poem per day. Today is April 4, and I’ve written four poems, so I’m right on schedule!  Today I thought I’d share one of my favorites that I’ve written so far:

My Daughter

by Jennifer Grassman

If I could but tell you the joy you inspire,
My heart, my will, my deepest desire
Revolves around you, and you alone, dear,
My life has a meaning now that you’re here.

Before you were born I was merely just me,
I did what I wanted, when I wanted, you see.
But now that you’re here everything that I do
Is joyfully, lovingly, done just for you.

Your smiles, your laughs, and even your cries,
Your tiny pink hands and your plump little thighs,
Your rosy pink lips and blueberry eyes,
You’re Daddy and Mommy in miniature size!

It seems every day that you learn a new trick;
You crawl, you sit up, you sing, and you kick,
You wiggle, you giggle, you tumble, and totter,
My sweet little darling, my angel, my daughter.

 Over the years I know you will grow,
In the things that you love, in the things that you know,
In grace, in wisdom, in height by degree,
But you’ll always be my little baby, to me.

Copyright 2013 © Jennifer Grassman

At the end of the month I’ll be collecting all the poems I write (which should be 30 in all) and publishing them as an e-book for Kindle, Nook, and other reading devices.  Please subscribe to my email list for updates!

My daughter, at seven months, discovering the pretty green grass. March, 2013

In Loving Memory of Jordyn Ashley Newman, “Pretty Girls” Actress

Jordyn Ashley Newman
Jordyn Ashley Newman

I met Jordyn Ashley Newman on the set of the Pretty Girls music video. She was one of the most vivacious, positive, encouraging, and radiant people I have ever met. Although stunningly beautiful, Jordyn was far from vain. In fact, it seemed she took joy in building others up and empowering them to be everything they dreamed of being.

Jordyn had a very rare ability to accept and appreciate everyone that she met, no matter what their background or differences. She was youthful, in that she did not have the social boundaries so many of us build around our hearts as we “grow up.” She literally never met a stranger. She was kind and generous in her love and enthusiasm.

She was also very artistic, and she loved fashion, vintage design, and music. Though a model, Jordyn’s real beauty could not be captured in a photo. She radiated joy, life, and energy. There was just something invigorating about her spirit that made everyone around her feel happy and confident too. She was a joy to know, and one of my greatest regrets will always be that I did not stay in touch with her better.

Jordyn passed away on Thursday, March 28, in her home in Dallas, Texas. She was a brave soul who faced daunting challenges that people twice her age would have buckled under. May God grant her peace, joy, and safety in his everlasting arms. My prayer for Jordyn is that before she passed, she felt God’s comfort and love surrounding her.

“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ~ A description of Heaven, from Revelation 21:3-4

We will miss you, Jordyn.

April is National Poetry Month & I’ll Be Writing a Poem a Day!

The Lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse

I haven’t really written any new songs or material since my second trimester. I guess building a little person sucked up all my creativity! Now Elowyn is 7 months old, and I am finally to a place where I’m feeling my artistic inspiration coming back.

Since April is National Poetry Month, I’ve decided to challenge myself, and YOU must help. I plan to write a poem a day all April long. That should come out to 30 poems, which will make a lovely collection that I will publish as an ebook for Kindle and Nook.

How can you help? Suggest poem topics on my Facebook wall. They can be as simple as “A Rose” or as complex as “A sentimental reminiscence of childhood.”

Select (i.e. some but not all) poems will be posted to Facebook and my blog.

Make sure you subscribe to my newsletter to receive poems in your inbox.

Happy National Poetry Month!


Jennifer Grassman to Release Gothic Album Inspired By Twilight Saga & The Walking Dead

Jennifer Grassman

While negotiations were kept strictly under wraps, Jennifer Grassman is proud to announce her April 1, 2013, signing with Vampirial Records, a metal label out of Seattle, Washington. She is signed to release five albums over the course of the next three years, a feat which Grassman says she will only be able accomplish with inspiration from truly great literary sources.

“The recent vampire craze has really resulted in some books that I feel will be classics in another fifty years, right up there with A Tale Of Two Cities and Sense & Sensibility,” said Grassman. “I’m excited to see some great books come out of the zombie movement too. I feel like pop culture is finally reaching a climax, like, a Second Renaissance. Except, this time around we’re obsessed with sex and death instead of beauty and life, which I personally think is cooler.”

Grassman’s first album with Vampirial Records will be titled, Necrophunk. The track listing is as follows:

  1. Love That Sparkles (Like A Vampire)
  2. Drink Me, Hold Me, Kiss Me, Bite Me
  3. Live Like We’re Dead
  4. The Edge of Gory
  5. Walkers In Paris
  6. Raining Blood
  7. I Kissed A Bat (And I Liked It)
  8. Stalk This Way
  9. Dead Romance
  10. Hate That I Crave You
  11. Every Blood-drop Is A Waterfall
  12. One Less Lonely Girl
  13. Oops! I Bit You Again

Necrophunk is set to release on October 31, 2013, and will feature guest vocals by Six Feet Under singer, Kanye South. The album will be supported by a tour launching in the US and wrapping up in Transylvania. Grassman also revealed that she will be trying her hand at penning a novel to go along with the album. “It’s going to be titled, ‘50 Shades of Necrosis,’ she said. “I was going to call it ‘The Vampire Diaries,’ but that title was already taken by some television show.”

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑